All of us are prone to anger. However, some persons manage their temperament while others flare up without reconsidering the deep relationship they have with the person involved or they would have with the person in the future. I have had situations where beloved ones talked to me without reconsidering the affection and passion we had shared. They flared up without a minute chance given to hear my side of the story that propelled them to be semi-mad persons. In rare cases you were given a chance to air your views, the combusting person would settle for “I’m sorry”. Before this time, the devastating deed had been done.
Our parents had patience. They were not given to quick anger the way I have observed among the contemporaries. Our parents were very mature that they would transmute anger into being quiet and watch where the provocative compass of the situation was navigating to. If they did not see reason why you provoked them, they would either forgive you, or stay at arm’s length, or totally cease to be in communication with you. The later does not translate to that they hate you. No. They only built a wall against a recurrence of your nuisance against them.
I do this very much in order not to be often quarreling with a sub-mental person or persons. Do you know what? Some persons have a penchant of not growing up in manners; their attitudes are against human decency. They are among our siblings, friends and so on. Your restraint from them does not mean you hate them but to avoid a repeat of any needless provocation or irritation from them. Against this backdrop, our parents’ mindset in handling anger was different from ours’.
Just hearsay today, the other person is provoked, without making any attempt to hear from the supposed gossip. Often time, the hearsay leads to inimical plans against the alleged tittle-tattle.
Our minds are desperately wicked in the modern era. We have pumped fuel of animosity into our minds that hardly do we remember that the other person is a human being, hence the maiming and bickering that have characterised our world. Sometimes, you might pass a friend on the road without exchanging the usual pleasantries with him or her. Instead the friend would mellow down in order to understand why the sudden change in your character, whether you were in your right senses or mind that day, this friend would not greet you the next day, even when you put up a hard push to explain what transpired the previous day. Some persons minds are very dirty that they read unnecessary meaning into some meaningless behaviours of their loved ones. This could be the reason Bhagavad Gita 16.21 tells me that “There are three gates to self-destructive hell: lust, anger, and greed.”
In my examination, I have found out that “there is anger because of jealousy, because of hatred, because of frustrated desires, because of selfish monetary motives, because of disputed matters, because of terror, or because of various states of spirit, mind, body, and tongue, etc.” The worst is when someone picks a quarrel with you or hates you without a cogent reason for doing so, even without your knowledge till you begin to observe his or her long face against you. Conversely, I take solace in the words of the 14th Dalai Lama, saying, “When reason ends, then anger begins. Therefore, anger is a sign of weakness.” Yes. Anger may be a sign of weakness, but I am not sure what hatred without any form of provocation from the person hated could be called. Many of us are wont to hating the other without prior provocation from the person hated. It is sad that some persons’ feeling goes against humanity. Why?
Oct. 18 2019.
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